24

.....No, not the show, my age.

I turn 24 years old today. I never used to understand why people freak out about getting older. Then yesterday, out of the blue, I was seized with a sudden and inexplicable near panic. Oh my word, I'm 24. Next year I'll be 25. In six years I'll be 30. I realize those of you who are older than me might think I'm silly for worrying at my age, and/or annoyed that I'm reminding you of your age. Hear me out.

It's not getting older that scares me, but forgetting my childhood. I wish I remembered more about living in Florida the first 5 years of my life, about the move from there to Oregon, about what first grade was like, about my freshman year of high school, about friends I know I've already forgotten.

It's not getting older that scares me, but the idea of leaving behind relationships from younger years. I've always been part of a fairly wide network of friends. Since we moved to Seattle, we have some very close friends, but also very few. I enjoy spending time with our friends up here, but miss everyone in Oregon. I miss the relationship we had with our church, being close to family, and the familiarity of faces and streets.

It's not getting older that scares me, but getting older too fast. I swear time speeds up faster each year that goes by. High school went quick, college went quicker and time since graduating from Fox is nearly impossible to keep up with. No day will ever be exactly the same as this day, and I want to enjoy it while it's here without missing anything.

I am happy that it's my birthday and looking forward to the 24th year of my life. There always seems to be some bad attached to the good. The challenge is to make the good worth it, and I am sure it will be.