Thursday, October 29, 2009

Who Do You Love More?

I've already begun to love my baby. Especially since I can feel its movements, I've started bonding with him/her. I can hardly imagine how much more intense that will be when he/she is born. While thinking about that, I was hit hard by this idea:

I have to love Jesus more than I love my child.

It's not even born, and already I'm struggling with getting this priority straight. It's hard enough to try and love Him more than Jonathan, and now I've got this little tiny being, that already has me wrapped around its unborn fingers, that I have to give to Him as well. It's not like He doesn't deserve it, like I don't understand why I should love Him more. But my goodness, this is my own flesh and blood. How on earth will I manage to keep this needy, helpless, beautiful little creature in second place?

God not only asked Abraham to love Him more, He asked him to prove it by slaughtering his son as a sacrificial offering. Abraham loved God so much that he obeyed, to the point where he held a knife above his son's chest, and he would have plunged it in had God not intervened. His only son, whom he and his wife Sarah had waited decades for. That is the kind of love that God both requires and deserves of me. Who am I to keep it from Him?

He knows my limitations, my struggles, my shortfalls. And if I ask Him, He can teach me how to love Him more. So now I pray this difficult prayer: "God, thank You for giving me this incredible blessing to love, but help me to love You more." And I try my hardest to mean it.

1 comment:

Jo and Li said...

I am so ecstatic for you Bella! I hope your lil one gets your red hair... So cute!