Paradigm

I LOVE the snow. I love how quiet it gets as it descends and layers on the ground. I love how the world sparkles as it coats the trees, cars and rooftops. I love how the dark night sky seems to glow as the snow reflects back to it. I love how the child in me still gets as excited as I used to be when I pressed my face to the classroom window as the first snow of the season fell. For me, it's okay if it's cold and icy outside because I have a warm home to stay in while I watch the snowfall.

For others, it's not okay.

My delight in our snowy weather is dampened by the idea of those who have no home to retreat to. Those who must sit outside, huddled on the freezing sidewalk with little to keep warm. Those who have no cider or soup to warm up with, no cozy bed to snuggle in. The stigma of the homeless being responsible for their own situations may or may not be true. Regardless, does that mean they deserve to suffer outside in the unforgiving cold?

I pray that I can be thankful for my circumstances without forgetting those who are in worse situations. I pray for those who dread this season and struggle to stay alive in the freezing temperatures. I pray that they can find warm shelters and sustenance. I pray that I can be someone who helps them and shows them the love of God by providing for them when they cannot provide for themselves.

Stopping By Woods

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening
by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Something Old, Something New

One would think I'd have something new to report by now, but I don't. I have received a couple calls from companies I applied for, but as of now nothing has progressed further than the initial call. It's a brutal job market right now. Jonathan and I are constantly reminded of how blessed we are by the job God provided for him. We haven't had to dip into our savings once since I lost my job. Many people are struggling to make ends meet in our current economy, and we are still quite comfortable. Our provisions are certainly not of our own accord.

My best friend is getting married in less than two weeks and I have the privilege of serving as her matron of honor. I love everything wedding and am so excited for this one. My own wedding may have been over 3 years ago, but I haven't forgotten the feelings of excitement, anxiety or stress; the meltdowns and struggles; the abundance of choices and decisions. What a blissfully insane time.

I had a dream about my "wedding" last night. Jonathan and I were renewing our vows, and somehow it was the day of our renewal and I had so many loose ends. I had tried to be laid back about the whole thing, and ended up so lacksadaisical that I had no flowers, no place settings, no food for the reception, and a dream within the dream where I got renewed my vows in jeans and a sweatshirt. It's funny how even years after the wedding, I'm still haunted by nightmares.

Flores

Jonathan came home from work yesterday and surprised me with flowers. I'm a lucky lady!

TAG You're It!

I've been tagged by Jenna. Let's see if I can come up with 7 interesting things....

1. When I was little, I thought that EVERYone was supposed to go to preschool when they were 4 years old. However, preschool is not free and my family couldn't afford for me to go at the time. I suppose I didn't want anyone to think that I was too dumb to go, so that entire year, whenever someone would ask me my age, I would answer, "I'm four, but I don't go to preschool because it costs too much."

2. I constantly have a soundtrack running through my head. By this, I mean that when I'm driving, or thinking about something sad, or having fun with friends, I'm thinking of a song that would go perfectly with the moment if it was in a movie. Also, when I'm listening to a song I'll think about what kind of scene in a movie it would be appropriate for.

3. You know how when you have a brand new pair of jeans, they need to stretch a little bit to fit perfectly? Well, when I try on jeans in the dressing room, I move around a little to stretch them out. A few months ago I was doing this in the Gap, with the same size I always wear, and I kid you not, the jeans ripped all the way down the butt and onto the leg. I came out of the dressing room, roamed around like I was taking a second look around the store, hid the jeans behind a manequin and hauled my denim-destroying butt right out of there.

4. I do math when I look at the clock. For example, if it's 4:15, I notice that 4+1=5. If it's 12:11, I see 1x2=1+1. If it's 3:57, I see 3+2=5+2=7.

5. A lot of people hate it when drivers weave, but I'm definitely a weaver. When I'm driving on the freeway and I come up to a pack of cars, I immediately look at it like a game. How can I get around these cars and come out in the front? As soon as I get past one car, I'm looking for the next opening. It's like a personal challenge, and I hate it when I lose.

6. I am scared of Canadian geese. When I was 7 years old, I was at the park feeding them bread. I ran out but they kept coming at me looking for more. I backed away with my hands out, but they came faster at me, hissing and flapping their wings. I started jogging away from them, and had to break into a full out run as they advanced. The whole flock chased me through the park for about 5 minutes before they finally backed off. Ever since then, I keep my distance.

7. I have the compulsive need to compliment people back when they compliment me. If you tell me my hair looks nice, I'll tell you I like your top. If you tell me you like my necklace, I'll tell you how cute your shoes are. Usually I mean it but on occasion I don't; I do it anyway because I can't help myself.


Now, I tag Angie, Amy, Taylor, and Melissa.

Seasons

Well, it's been 5 weeks since my last post and really nothing has changed. I am still actively looking for a job. There are a plethora of jobs I've applied for but I've only received one response which turned out to be a dead end. Either I'm way less qualified than I thought, or everyone is posting and not hiring. I suspect it's the latter.

Those of you who know me well, know that I LOVE the heat and sunshine. The Northwest is certainly not known for those. Right now the deciduous trees are changing and despite the cold, I find that it's worth it to be chilly just to enjoy the brilliant colors. This epiphany made me think about seasons in my life that I struggle through, but then something comes along that I can find beauty in, and I forget about the hardship. God orchestrates things perfectly, doesn't He?

A Surprising Bend in the Road

I received some surprising news at work on Friday. Last winter, we pitched to take on the entirety of one of our biggest accounts. (They had been using 5 other agencies in addition to us.) This would mean acquiring all 34 markets, instead of the 6 we had been working on. We lost the pitch to a large agency based in Los Angeles. However, they continued using us throughout the year. Last week they informed our agency that they decided to cut all ties now and move all work over to the winning agency. On Friday afternoon, my boss came in with someone from HR to let me know that we had officially lost the account and had to let me go. It was certainly a shock; I didn't see it coming at all. They also let another buyer go, someone who was partially retired from accounting, and a radio buyer who had basically left but still did work on the account for us. Also, all of the execs are taking pay cuts. I've spoken with the girls I shared an office with and they don't think the layoffs are over yet.

On Friday I was just angry, on Saturday I was apathetic, on Sunday I was depressed, and the last couple days I've been OK with it. It was strange yesterday not going to work, but to be honest, I'm enjoying the break! Work had me so wound up and stressed that a small vacation is really good for me. I already feel more at peace and back to my normal self.

I've wanted to leave DM for a while now, but I had of course expected that it would be on my terms. I wanted a new job but I loved the perks of working in media, and the girls I worked with had become good friends. Those two things kept me working for a company that I wanted to leave. I am grateful that God did what I couldn't bring myself to do. All in all, I'm feeling very upbeat and looking forward to starting something better.